serba salah

ok i really dunno what "serba salah" translate in english. i asked 2 ppl n they both say it means guilty but isnt guilty "bersalah" in malay. oh watever.

today is a very interesting day. a day i realise tt ppl are jez plain selfish. some of us r willing to jez see someone get screwed really bad by someone else n yet we dun do anything about it coz if we did, our head is on the line.

ok the gist of it is tt my fren got shouted at n chased away from the smoking alley by some guy who dislikes him. tt guy shouted at my fren in front of many, "i dun wan to see ur face here wen i'm here smoking". ok tt was jez plain unreasonable coz the SA is a public property not his. but the worst thing is tt NOONE including me stand up for him. tts becoz both parties is our fren n noone wants to get involve though its obvious tt watever happen is wrong n was uncalled for. we're afraid tt if we get involve, it wud be us who might be on a row wit tt guy. n tt wud be worst. its like nisa said "do nothing and lose one fren or do the right thing and lose twenty others." come to think of it, im disappointed in myself coz i shud have done the right thing. yet i choose to jez say nothing. n somehow its so not me. i dun mind losing those twenty others n yet nisa reminded me tt having tt twenty others on ur side might be a good thing at times. haiz.

the worst thing for my fren is tt his so called "bestfriend" didnt even stood up for him. tt was a blow for him la. coz this "bestfriend" ever told him "u're my bestfren i will choose u over everyone" but well today was evident she dun mean wat she said. well u noe wat i told him? i am so done believing tt there r such thing as "bestfren". to me it dun mean a thing. "frens foreva" is meaningless to me. i dun expect any of my frens to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for me and neither am i gonna do it for them. jez the other day, a super close fren of mine a.k.a my manager, told me tt i'm selfish and all i think about is me, me and me. what the FUCK ritez? i mean tt was definitely a first la. coz as far as i am concern, there is alot of things i did for my frens which i have no benefits of. like following her to orchard to help her choose a prom dress and i never been to a prom in my life! i join ve becoz i didnt want to turn my back on her like all her other frens and best fren. i actually join n support her n yet she says i'm SELFISH!!! maya selfish??? ok tt is so unforgivable. am i selfish? do i think of myself? haiz.......

btw NISA u so r at fault over the fact tt i am secretly (well no longer a secret) reads xiaxue's blog. as much as i hate her, her blog is so addictive la. no wonder she is so popular. fuck.

btw HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY FATHEHA!!! wakaka!!! she's 20 already. two and a fat zero!!!! no more a teen in her age. as for me i'm still officially a teenager coz i'm still nineTEEN till october 13th. so yeah. =p