so sick

i'm facing horrible withdrawal symptoms coz i'm trying to cut down on my no. of sticks per day.
coughing non-stop. its fucking embarrasing coz wen coughing hard and loud in the public transport people will look at you as if u have SARS. well i might as well.

had been working hard in long hours. parents are frowning. grandparents are frowning. but i dun give a fuck. this is my life. i need to take control on which path i choose even though i might fail. coz 1stly i'm the one facing the consequences, not you ppl. 2ndly, u wun fail until u quit trying. tts way i believe. i mean if other ppl can succeed why cant you. if other people can have financial freedom, why cant you. its a matter on how bad you wan it. and damn i wan it so bad...

work has been quite ok. slow sales compare to some ppl but i tried my best. so far closed 3 cartons of cal water, tootpaste, cal ions and cal element. the only thing diff is dealing with my parents. the only damn difficult obstacle is wat my parents set for me. parents can be so negative at times, it breaks you down thinking that they dont support you. but i guess they're just concern and careful. too careful for their own good.

my target for this month is to hit MM by the end of this month and to present as well as ms farhanah and the cute and gorgeous mr faeez. the funny thing was i always thought tt mr faeez was cute and hott. jez wanted to get to know him as colleagues. so kept on bugging my frenz tp intro. skali ms farhana took 2 steps ahead. mr faeez became my presenter. but he's nice la even though i kinda screwed up my opening and closing speech. talking bout crash and burn!!! wakaka. well dun worry. i'm so not "going after" him. jez frenz n colleagues. coz he's too cute for me. and secondly company 1st golden rule; NO BGR BETWEEN COLLEAGUES. can kena suspended or even terminated. wakakaka. so serious sey. i mean if there is mutual attraction wat can they do to stop sey. its like going against nature. watever.

btw i have to try to pull myself away frm this guy. obviously there's only one thing in his mind. physical contact. NO THANK YOU. we're not even attached. jez harmless flirting gone bad. and he dun believe in love. so wen it comes to this, GIRLS=SEX. sad huh? sianz...

so many ppl ask me out clubbing but i cant. so saddd...

Things can be so perfect
So sweet and free, no strife
Then why don't people reject
The obstacles in life

Why do little things bring you down?
So badly you can't arise
In a whirlpool of emotions you drown
With the momentum of those lies

Those lies which kept you contented
Hiding the realities of your life
Keeping you from becoming demented
And the horrors of the knife

Be glad that you have been there
Like not many may have done
Be appreciative; you have been where
Not many have gone, and won

Be thankful; life has shown you
The dark side of its bright
Be pleased; you have lived through
The darkness to the light

Things can be so perfect
So sweet and free, no strife
Then why don't people reject
The obstacles in life

Because obstacles are to teach you
What life is all about,
Though it may all seem new
You'll live it through no doubt