Slapped

the slap that comes from a true friend. babe i love you though.

after ranting to her about my pathetic academic status.

love.angel.music.baby says:
no la
love.angel.music.baby says:
but studies....
love.angel.music.baby says:
even if u dont go for lectures, u can do it at home what
love.angel.music.baby says:
if u really see the importance
love.angel.music.baby says:
like, i feel u really changed too
love.angel.music.baby says:
in terms of ur motivation
love.angel.music.baby says:
like in secondary sch, u were hardworking and all
love.angel.music.baby says:
and in jc, not too bad
love.angel.music.baby says:
and when u went to poly, i actually thought u would be even more hardworking after goin thru jc
love.angel.music.baby says:
but... dont know why u just let it slip like that
....
...
..
.
love.angel.music.baby says:
hmmm. it's not abt the smoking.
love.angel.music.baby says:
i smoke but i study too.
love.angel.music.baby says:
but u are just not motivated i dont know why
love.angel.music.baby says:
like u're not BOTHERED at all
....
...
..
.
love.angel.music.baby says:
i know ure gonna say im mean
©maya eloise ™Rimas says:
no i wont
love.angel.music.baby says:
but i really can understand why ur parents would be disappointed in u
©maya eloise ™Rimas says:
on a 2nd thought... yea...
©maya eloise ™Rimas says:
...
©maya eloise ™Rimas says:
wow.
....
...
..
.
love.angel.music.baby says:
i really have nothing against u smoking all these
love.angel.music.baby says:
cos' as u know, i'm not THAT conservative
love.angel.music.baby says:
but then
love.angel.music.baby says:
i feel u really lost ur priorities la
love.angel.music.baby says:
and for ur parents, it's not like u're rebelling and doing 'wrong' things when ur results are good
love.angel.music.baby says:
but results are not keeping up also
love.angel.music.baby says:
of course they'll think u have changed
....................................................*************..............................................
i didnt think i slipped tt far. but i did. into an endless black hole of nothing-ness. but yea i have changed. not for the better. not more mature. just taking life for granted. i am feeling sick now. like my stomach not able to digest the scrambled eggs i had just now. like i am to vomit it all out. like i have this huge stone thrown on top of my heart. like my lungs rejecting the oxygen i breathe in. like my my own warm shit thrown at my face. like my eyes stings with the burning tears. like my airways being blocked. like i dont deserve to live a second longer...

"but i really can understand why ur parents would be disappointed in u"

Ya Allah aper telah aku lakukan... Maafkan aku... Tunjukkan aku ke jalan yg benar. Amin.