trust issues

Its been awhile since I last posted an entry. Even though exams ended last Tuesday, I was busy helping out the parents at their new canteen at Raffles Girls School. And by the time I got back home, I am too tired think and do anything else except for facebook, sketch, pet society, spot the difference and television. anyway I am just here for awhile to rant my feelings out.

I have just realize yesterday that there are some things, well a lot of things, that you just can't tell the mother, who you think deserve to know and KEEP some of your secrets. I really though my mom, the more understanding parent, would understand my feelings and actually KEEP the secrets and feelings I poured to her, to herself! But it took her barely a few hours from telling my dad about some of my deepest secret feelings. WTF!!! I should have known better. I really wanted to trust my mom. I really thought we could have that special mother-daughter bond that I much saw on the telly. But I was wrong. I just cannot fathom how my mother could actually call me a liar, when lying is the like a hobby to them. I am so sad, angry and disappointed by this. I wish I could undo yesterday. I really do. Now I really believe that "what you don't know, will not hurt you". And that is how I will treat the parents, especially my mom, from now onwards. I will be a private person, even though i'm not, I will try hard to be that person. Why cant i just be soft-spoken and private. haiz.......

“The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be- and when they're not, we cry.”

p/s: Melor Binte Abdul Rahman: I miss you. I wish you will get well soon. I am sorry I cannot be by your decision this time around. I am sorry I cant see you much anymore. But I do wish you would find happiness that you deserve. I will pray for you before I sleep... well that is if I do start praying anytime soon. I miss you.


Because of you, I am afraid.